I've been dating a guy I really care about for eight months now. We hit it off unusually fast and are now living together. He helps me out time to time financially and is very caring and loving. He's in his early/mid thirties and I am 23. We have our arguments now and then and I sometimes feel pressure to perfect and "have this perfect relationship" with him. I think arguing can be healthy for a relationship when both parties are able to get over it quickly. It keeps things exciting every once in a while. My ex and I of almost three years officially broke off all contact after I became interested in the guy I am currently seeing. We were "on again off again" at the same and when I officially broke it off (we really were not getting along, whatsoever), he decided to get some work experience in Peru since he'd just graduated. That was in August of 2010 and his contract at his job just ended. He is now back in the city. I do still care about him as a person, and am curious to see if he's changed at all. I don't think there's any way possible I could love him more than who am with now, because we get along really well. However, he wants to get coffee. I don't know how i'd feel afterwards and I don't like disrespecting the people I am seeing. I just don't know how wrong getting coffee with an ex is. I know I probably shouldn't, but at the same time, I am only 23. What's wrong with getting coffee?
Other - Family & Relationships - 6 Answers
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1 :
yes.
2 :
Of course it's wrong. How would you feel if your current b/f went off to meet his ex for a coffee?
3 :
There's nothing wrong with getting coffee. What's wrong is getting yourself into a serious rebound relationship right after a long term one, and then moving in together after only 8 months. What's happening now is predictable, whether it's an old flame or someone entirely different, because you are moving at warp speed. You're trying to justify it by saying you're curious about him, but the truth is that after a 3 year relationship blew up, you weren't/aren't ready to be so serious with someone else. And the age difference is also significant. It sounds like he's about 12 years older than you and at your age this is quite a bit. I'd slow everything down.
4 :
Take your current BF with you to visit the old beau and all is well otherwise you are definetly cheating and no good will come of it, or break up first, move out, stop taking money and then go do what you please
5 :
What is wrong with it is that you think it is disrespectful to your current partner. Therefore, it is. If something makes you question whether it is right or wrong, it is usually wrong for you. Think how you would feel if your boyfriend went out for coffee with a woman he was seriously involved with in the past. If it would upset you if he did it, don't do it. If you can honestly say you'd be okay with it, then discuss this coffee meeting with your current boyfriend and if he expresses concern, don't go.
6 :
Ann, in my opinion your tempting fate by doing this and you have to ask yourself how would you feel if your current boy friend was doing this with some ex of his, especially if he didn't know about it. What if he saw you and the ex out having coffee? Not cool. I advise against it, but if you do go meet him its only fair that your current man knows about it.
