Just last week, I volunteered for 5 days at a shelter for homeless and disadvantaged boys in Peru. I primarily worked with another girl my age (20) with boys aged 11 to 13. Although we only got to see the boys a few hours a day after their schooling (from about 1:30 to 5), and although I only saw them from Monday through Friday of last week, I have discovered that I have gotten extremely attached. I feel weird. First of all, it was only a week, so how could I have gotten THAT attached? Two, I almost feel like going back and staying for a while (I got home yesterday if that matters at all), even though I live in Southern California and go to college in Arizona, where I am still only a rising junior. I realize that millions of people have volunteered for children and enjoyed it but I feel my positive experience has backfired on me personally. The best I could do is visit each summer, but how do I know that they'll even remember my name next year? They have limited computer resources at their shelter and obviously no cell phones, so keeping in touch would be a challenge. Most of these boys have either no families or crappy families, and I simply won't stand to be another person in their life who is letting them down. However short my visit was, I gave them just as positive of an experience as they gave me, and if I didn't come back, what kind of person would I be? Given all of this background information, I have a few questions, I guess. Am I normal for feeling so strongly for these boys? Should I go back for a few weeks every year, or cherish the good times that I had and move on with my life? Regardless...can someone help? lol :) Thanks.
Community Service - 4 Answers
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1 :
Aw, that's sweet. I think you should keep in touch :) They need some care.
2 :
To answer your main questions directly and in order... 1) No, you are not "normal" for feeling so strongly, but that's a good thing. Most of us feel only a fleeting connection to such disadvantaged people before returning to our own priviledged lives, all but forgetting them. 2) Your obligation to return is a personal judgement, and the best advice anyone could probably offer is to listen to your heart. If it is within your means to return and you feel compelled to, you should go back, whether they remember you or not. If there are financial or interpersonal reasons why you shouldn't go back, or if you're doing it out of a sense of guilt (which I doubt, in your case it sounds like legitimate compassion) then you should probably not return. If you still want to help people, you can still do it closer to home, if you wish.
3 :
You found your God given talent and calling in life. No it is easy to get attached to kids who needed your help. You opened up your heart to them and they loved it. Now you can see what a rewarding work it is to help kids with less then you have had and to try to make a difference in their lives. This is what teachers go through too with each of their pupils. It is hard to not see them after seeing them everyday for a school season. I think your parents would be proud of you. You can go see them again if you like. They will not forget you and you might have made such a positive impact on their lives that later in life they will share about you to their kids. Congrats and God bless Good Samaritan :)
4 :
I think it's fine that you feel so connected. It may not be "natural" as already mentioned, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. And whether or not you go back is really your decision - no right or wrong answer. If a year from now you still want to go back, then i think you should try it. Until then you can just keep in touch through good old fashioned letters. I'm sure they would feel so happy to get a letter, cards and maybe pictures from you.
